Traveling through the mud
Author: Carla Rose /We are moving. Moving away form a infested home of mold to a farm. Interesting turn of events. I am healing myself of Candida, and leaky gut syndrome which both are no picnic. This face below makes it all a bit easier.
See you soon.
Blossoming uphill pitfalls
Author: Carla Rose /
Traveling upward in my life is ongoing. Though as i reflect on the higher aspects of living i can see the trap doors a bit clearer now. They were always present, the difference now is rather than slip down the trap i recognize it and redirect my path in a different manner. Standing true to visions individually and verbalizing them to the ones who matter open up a pathway that screams with uncertainties. As my relationship with Anthony continues to mature i can clearly state what my truths are or aren't. I noticed and embraced the fact that we both have our own likes and dislikes, opinions/beliefs and they do not need to mirror each others, though what we have worked on is to respect the others passions and note it as a soul longing which needs to be fed with nurturing ingredients to survive.
As a mother and a wife i let my passions slip away with the mundane motherly duties and found some unhappiness within that needed addressing. Once i acknowledged this and verbalized the void, i got up and embraced my passions and started creating.
Fish thinking...
Author: Carla Rose /
Embracing the arrival of the New Moons entrance, I find myself in solitude gathering the gems that are fragmented. Preparing for New beginnings, I am holding hands with the right ones.
Emily has me scattering, in many directions. We are under going tests this week. I will be back here when the time allows.
Birth Day Remembrance
Author: Carla Rose /
On this day one year ago I was drafted into a maternal classroom. Tired, exhausted, and hormonal my bearings were sea sawing, though at the same time experienced excerpts of uphoria drip into my veins. The clues perhaps were not given validity as they should. Dilating from 4-8 in 15 minutes, granted me with no intervention options. You arrived exactly how you were supposed to.
A love that grows every beating day.
We managed to create a homemade allergy free cake too.
Crocs, Venom, and Bon voyage
Author: Carla Rose /
Yes you.
You are most welcome here.
No written invite required. No club member association needed.
This hut carries no discrimination traits. Inside this hut you will find many women, just like you. All paths, all faiths, some without. Please do not feel intimidation towards the women in ceremonial robes inside this gathering. They are here, called forth to volunteer time, energy, and work. They seek nothing in return. They have a ancient story just like you. Whatever style of alignment you seek, it is here. All that is required upon entering is an offering, something dear to your heart. Something that makes your heart and soul dance. It can be anything. Your voice, your weaving of baskets, your X ray vision eyes, ears, or smell, your warrior suit of armor, your innate compassion for listening, your hair braiding fettish, your painting, your pen and paper. A uniqueness only you attain that may not even phase you as a "gift", bring it on inside.
Won't you place your tired achy feet into the foot bath of magically mixed sea salt, Epsom salt, and baking soda infused with the oil of your choice? The components inside will raise your soul out of hiding. A humble fortress awaits to weave her gift as she loosens up the pressure points of your roots. With her simple tool; passed down from her Grandmother, the opposite side of a pencil yes; indeed an eraser, she spins her magic with guided energetic force. Deep slow methodical clockwise circles surround the soles of your feet, and in between your toes. You begin to feel your physical body tingle in areas you hadn't felt in quite a long time. You feel as though things are being drawn out, though uncertain exactly what it is. You are offered some kind of tea, reluctantly you accept after locking eyes with other souls in the hut drinking this potion. You decide it can't hurt. You then notice a woman close by who looks to be getting her scalp stimulated. Over to the far right you see a female in a brown cloaked robe who is chanting harmonious mantras creating an infinity loop around the hut, ringing a bell in one hand and holding a dorje in the other. Over to the left you see a woman wearing a headdress of plumage, drumming in a trance state. You look over and see a table set up with hundreds of herbs and elixirs. You then see a woman inscribing symbols with paint on others bodies in a ritualistic fashion. You step outside behind this tepee to collect your bearings, only to discover a dimension of reality come to life.
A lake front fire pit ceremony surrounded and conducted by women. Some dancing with their mouths open, some performing tantric moves, some with their hands raised, some as strong as still. Some were facing the many crocodiles in the lake as if they were communing with one another. The snapping crocs were involved some way. As if they were swallowing up excerpts of invisibleness. Waves of confusion spill through your consciousness, the left side of your brain takes over your psyche. What type of place is this? Where did all of these women come from? Who am I? Why am I here? Is this a crazy dream? Maybe the tea had some shrooms in it?
Next, you hear a hiss hiss sound, you look downward, and see a snake. Remaining still, heart pounding you open your mouth to scream, your once fluid voice is non existent. Snakes scare the hell out of you, and have since you were a little one. In fact, the fear was/is so great, you studied them in depth. In truth, most of your life consists of protection guards for the many many snakes that slithered into your life, that you could sense one approaching a mile away. How on earth was this snake able to successfully sneakily slither his way up your body and encircle himself around your neck, after all the long hard work and devotion you practiced? Tingling like a feather tickles the crown of your thinker, you notice feelings of liquid lightness, as thoughts being diapatched cascade through your skull.
"Do not fear me, I am here for you. I am what is called your shadow totem. I have been with you for a lengthy Earth walk indeed. I act as a animal spirit that embodies your alternate self, your personality center. When the Shadow is not integrated, it is the repository of your fears, frustrations, temptations, impulsive/compulsive reactions and your anger and unresolved pain. Perhaps because our modern society has denied the existence of the shadow self, or conversely has exerted an over abundance of effort in nurturing it, you have learned to fear this extension of your inner self. I have been prowling the corridors of your mind for some time. When the pain of past traumas have been embraced, healed and resolved, then we may look upon our shadow totem in a new light, understanding that all along, he/she is merely a reflection cast from our own unresolved issues, lessons and pain. With understanding, healing and integration, the shadow is no longer a separate and dark entity that relentlessly pursues us, and we come to see that where our footsteps fall, no fractured shadow is cast, there is only the light of the integrated self. This is why I greet you today to say goodbye.. our partnership is complete".
.... Refusal to let go of the past.... my whole life... kept him lingering around.
So without further ado....
~Farewell~
So be it... and so it is...
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